A forty day fast from self preservation

First off, I just wanna say that trying to not be self preserving for forty days is as hard as HECK!  Mostly because my human nature is to defend myself and to protect my wants and my needs; but fasting from being self preserving to me means that I always care for other's needs before mine. 

There have been a couple times since our family started this fast from self preservation that one of my siblings have told on me about an incident that they thought was on purpose, and when I was told on, I had  a chance to defend myself.  Instead, I immediately asked God what to say in that situation and prayed that I would not be defensive.  Afterward, me and my brother went out and shot hoops together. 

This is not easy, but very revealing and eye opening because I was thinking before we started this fast that it would be easy and no problem... but umm ya God had other plans.  Lately I've realized that I have so much further more to grow in maturity than I thought.  For instance, I seem to have a issue with being defensive towards my dad by saying, "I know," in an exasperated tone of voice and I have felt quite convicted lately.  And I really do need all the prayer I can get because I am FAR from perfect.  I want to be so humble after this fast that nothing, absolutely nothing phases me.  So basically, I want to be BULLET PROOF!